My thoughts are all over the map. Literally. No nice, cogent, well-thought out post here – rather observations that, like my life, appear and intrigue.
Questions. People ask questions that, to me, feel intensely personal. Why didn’t you go to church today? Are you married? Do you have children? Why not? Why are you doing this work? Are you Christian? How big is your family? Our culture teaches that we should answer questions, but I’m learning that just because a question is asked doesn’t obligate me to answer it. I am getting more adept at avoiding or not answering, but it’s hard. And of course, I can ask personal questions in return.
It’s starting to be spring, the end of winter and the dry season. The rivers (we would call them creeks, at this level) are very low, drying up. The community tap is not working. This homestead has a storage tank, but others are not so fortunate. Yesterday a young man, Melusi, a grandson who lives across the road, came to talk to me. He had seen me at the high school when I was here a couple of weeks ago and was curious. He showed me where others go to get water. It’s maybe 1⁄4 mile down a steep path (think San Francisco’s Lombard Street, or Ashland’s steep streets) to a small pool of water. If people aren’t careful, the pool gets cloudy with sediment. They fill 5 gallon buckets (that’s 40 pounds of water) then carry them back. The young women put the containers on their heads; the young men just lug them along. Teens at work...
Amazing how creative that made me in terms of water conservation. Managed to bathe in about 1⁄2 gallon of water (maybe a bit more) – solar shower works! Wahoo! and only a minor leak. Use the bath water to wash out the dish water basin and both to wash the thunder bucket. Laundry and floor will have to wait.
Melusi walked with me, unwilling, I suspect, to allow me to walk alone. ‘Aren’t you afraid?’ he asked, and was surprised, I think, by my ‘No’. He showed me a type of rock he found; he discovered it because it was heavier, for its size, than other rocks of the same size. It’s magnetic. He wants to be a scientist; he’s definitely observant enough!
All over the map. Yes, one of the things I want to do is a community mapping. Partly because I want to find places to walk, and partly because it will tell me a lot about how people view their community. I’ve lots to do. Tomorrow, for sure.
I'm still amazed at the water situation and how you are coping. It is one thing I have always taken for granted. 1/4 mile with 40 pounds is a long way to lug water.
ReplyDeleteInteresting about the personal questions. I think, as nurturing women, we often share a lot in order to create a shared background with someone. However, over the years I've learned that perhaps it is too much. I have personas I give to the public based on the situation. My author persona is different from my consultant persona, and that is different from my best friend persona, or my wife persona. They are all one person, with the same values and life view. However, what is shared is different--partly based on the circumstances and partly based on the relationship I am building with that person or group.
Even with my best friends, or my husband, not every bit of my life is shared. There is something that is always left just for me. I think that is important.
I think, for you, the decision is what is your relationship to this group of people. Realistically, as much as you may see them as family during your stay, what will it be when you leave? Also, families have their own dynamics that are sometimes wonderful and sometimes competitive.
The answer to the relationships you wish to build and the long term relationship you wish to maintain, may help you to shape what you share of your personal life or your inner life.