The opinions expressed are mine and do not reflect the positions of the Peace Corps or the US government.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Processing

January 27, 2014
At the Peace Corps Office so am experimenting - can I get this to load? I will do another post of pictures. For now - Just processing...

January 22, 214

It's the difference between knowing and experiencing. And I can't really define how it gets from the first to the second. But I know that making a difference, once person at a time, is what the Peace Corps is all about. And somehow, that knowledge  is morphing into experience. As experience, it somehow becomes a part of me in - a wholistic? way? Not sure of the word. It becomes a part of who I am. Mind/body combined.

I know my expectations are not going to match what really happens. That the people here need to guide what happens and I'll put my energy where others put theirs. I may end up putting much more time and energy into the library than the career center. I may wind up creating a resource center at the umphakhatsi rather than a career center at the high school. There may not be workshops - rather informal gatherings to learn specific skills. My successes may be because of the stumble technique, like helping Simphiwe get into St. Michael's, or tutoring youth who come to me, rather than something more concrete. My best accomplishments may be mentoring a few, who will pass along what is learned. I just don't know. And I think that's okay.

I keep trying to get my mind around what I 'm doing - and it won't go there. Guess it's that my worth is not in the projects I do or don't do, but in the connections I make along the way. The projects are an excuse to be here to do my "real" work.

from email jan 4 2014

It's been a time for introspection - for finding my balance, searching for "meaning in life", discovering my place in the scheme of the Universe. The lessons have been less than subtle - in fact, kind of slamming me in the face. All in all, I think this was a good decision, but that doesn't mean I don't have lots of doubts. sometimes I count the days left on my way to the latrine, or doing dishes with water I've hauled, or washing myself in a basin <g>. The physical realities are harsh and unavoidable. The warmth of the people and the opportunity to hang out with little kids is irreplaceable. The country is beautiful and full of surprises.

Jan 23
Scene... waiting for my ride to town. hot day. sitting in the shade on a slope above the road. hear a slapping sound. a dozen or so cattle strolling down the road. behind them, a young man with an umbrella for shade follows them, cracking a whip into the road in some complex rhythm all his own. we wave, and when he smiles, I realize it's Mbalekelwa and that cattle he's driving live here.

and on another note entirely, for those who remember, 45 years today...

January 24

I was cleaning up papers and discovered I've been writing some poetry.

Amazing how
we think
a better life

means
Elsewhere
No matter where
     here
         is.

But every there,
     every where
           holds

Here
where dreams
may find us.

~1/9/14


Your artist's eye

Notices
the white space:

     What is not
      what is no longer

Observes
     change

Appreciates
     clear sight.

~1/9/14
  Africa

and finally, written last spring. Hard, in the midst of summer to remember how it felt, but since most of you readers are looking forward to spring:

Drum riffs
of rain
serenade us.

Parched earth
runs soupy brown

Kids surround
the lidlala's cookfire
tossing an occasional cob
onto the coals
under the little
libhoda holding dinner,

Sky darkens into dusk
thunder percussion
blends with soft laughter.

October.
springtime in
Swaziland.

~10/18/13

1 comment:

  1. Love the poetry! Love this: "...my worth is not in the projects I do or don't do, but in the connections I make along the way. The projects are an excuse to be here to do my "real" work."

    I firmly believe that we change the world one person at a time, beginning with ourselves.

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